Rock Bottom


When our relationship hit bottom…I wanted nothing more than to just walk away.


It would be so easy.


But I knew deep down in my heart, that I hadn’t given it everything I had.


And I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, unless I tried everything I could.


So I had to make a choice.


I chose to make things better.


And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, the turning point came:


That was when I started looking at our relationship from the perspective of “If I died tomorrow, or if he died tomorrow…how would I want our last day to be? How would I want to feel?”


I realised that I wanted it to be the absolute best that it could be.


The big shift for me, was when I realised, well if he died tomorrow, or next month, I’d have so many regrets.


Don’t get me wrong, there were many many (many!) great moments in our relationship. But overall it was broken, abusive and soul destroying.


And while I wasn’t responsible for him and his behaviour, I was responsible for myself, and my behaviour.


And I’d see it enough with myself, my children and my clients, I knew that I could be the good example.


And when I change myself, and my perspectives and my understandings of things, when I’m prepared to look at things from someone else’s point of view, I change, massively, and those around me, change also. Because they could no longer go on treating me the way they’d been treating me.


Controlling Reactions


I no longer reacted in ways that would create tension, confrontation or aggression. There were so many things that I just no longer sweated any more.


I had made mountains out of mole hills.


Here’s the lesson: this might help you to come to a tipping point. If your loved ones, even if they drive you absolutely batty, there might be bullying and abuse.


This could be a workplace relationship, intimate partner relationship, or with your children.


How would you feel if they died tomorrow?


How would you feel with things as they are right now? How would you rather feel instead?


If you know that you’d feel guilt and regrets, then this is a wake up call.


You want to remember the good parts of your relationships. You want to feel gratitude and love for that person.


This is where I can help


If you’re looking for ways to bridge the gap, and connect with that person, not just superficially, but really connect, I can help you see the way.


I know it’s probably really deep.


It doesn’t mean that I have to like people. It doesn’t even mean I have to agree with people.


It just means that I have empathy and understanding to see where they’re coming from, where they’re at and what they’re going through.


By having this intention, and by doing what I can to fulfil it, I’m going to be so much more content in my life with every relationship that I have.


No Regrets


I know that I’ll never have any regrets because I’ve always done my best to bring good energy to others.


Sometimes I will upset and offend people, that’s just part of being human and I can’t control exactly how people react to me, but


I know that as long as I’m always coming from a heart centred place, that I’ve done my part.


This is your chance now, to change your life and your world will change. There IS another way.


Erena Oliver
Founder: The Love Vortex
Co-Creative & Empowered Relationships
Marlborough NZ