Relationship Rescue: It Starts With Our Bodies


A successful relationship rescue begins with being aware of our own bodies. I’m becoming more aware of the concerns in our environment, the fear, the anger, the frustration that’s happening.


And just wanted to do the little that I can to bring some perspective into your life. If you’re feeling powerless, then my intention is you’ll feel more balanced, more empowered. If you’re feeling uncertain, my intention is that you’ll feel more assured.


If you’re feeling anxious, my intention is that you’ll feel more calm. If you’re feeling broken, my intention is to help rescue your relationship.


Keeping Our Bodies Healthy, The Most Important Relationship We Have


Now, the work that I do, the modalities that I use, are based on the premise that our bodies are self healing mechanisms. Our community of cells and microbes work together, and when everyone is communicating well, our bodies have harmony, and we have happy and healthy bodies.


When the communication stops, when different parts of the body take control, get out of line, then we have conflict within our body. 


So when I’m doing any alignment sessions, the intention is always to move the body into greater harmony, alignment, better communication and to help the body have better connection within itself.


Couples Guidance: Open Lines Of Communication


And the couples guidance bonus is that this also reflects out into our life, and into the relationships that we have. We have deeper and more harmonious connections and relationships.


So before I do the balancing relationship rescue, I want to bring up a few things that you may not be aware of. 


Firstly, fear weakens our immune system. And when we’re feeling powerless, this feeds into our fear. I want you to know that you are resilient, and you have survived everything that has crushed your path up to this time. 


You might not have thrived, you might not be as healthy as you would like to be. You might not be as vibrant, or have as much energy as you want to, but you’ve survived everything up to this point. 


Relationship Rescue: Celebrate!


So celebrate! The fact is, you’re a survivor. And you’ve overcome everything that has crossed your path to get you to where you are today. 


What happened in your past is important, when we can use it as a learning tool, but what is even more important, is what happens from this point going forward. 


So celebrate the fact that you’ve survived, and you can get through this as well. 


Especially, if you are mindful of how your thoughts and actions affect yourself, and how they affect others. 


Relationship Rescue: Avoiding Anger


Another point that I want to share is that anger feeds viruses. Viruses are really only present when the body needs to purge itself of something. To have a clear out, and or, if there is a lot of anger that’s present. 


If you notice yourself getting angry and frustrated, and the way you’re responding towards other people, and what’s happening at the moment, then it’s something that you can start to become aware of. 


Acknowledge it without judgement. Say “I’m feeling angry right now”, or whatever words you need to express that. 


The body actually produces anger, the liver is what produces anger, to help us to move towards what is life affirming to us. 


Bodies In Action: Fight Or Flight


So if we come across someone in a dark alley at night, it’s the liver that generates that feeling of anger, to allow us to fight or flee. 


So it’s about keeping ourselves safe, and standing up for ourselves. 


When we’re standing up for ourselves, it’s really important that we learn to stand up for ourselves in a way that’s not defensive or reactive. 


So while anger plays an important role in our body, when it’s not expressed properly, or expressed in unhealthy ways, then we implode, and that is what certainly feeds any viruses which are present. 


Relationship Rescue: Temperature


The 3rd point, is that temperature, kills viruses. 


Now, when I was a child, when we had a temperature, we were sponge bathed to keep cool, and we had a wet flannel to wash over our skin, keeping our temperature low.


What happens today in our society, is that people get a virus, their temperature goes up, and they start popping pills to bring their temperature down.


And what happens with that, is then the virus goes underground, and it goes deeper into our body and it sits there. Then at the next opportunity, when we’re feeling angry, when we’re feeling fearful, when we’re feeling stressed, all of a sudden, that same virus will pop up again and have another go at us. 


Keeping Cool


But if we can keep our temperature cool, then we can actually kill the virus, and we’ve built up an immunity to that specific strain of virus.


An interesting thing to note, is that we don’t get the flu during the summer, unless we have a particularly compromised immune system. But that’s because during the summer, our air temperature is warmer and the virus isn’t able to survive. 


But during cooler temperatures, especially this Corona Virus, is able to thrive.


Being Vigilant:


We here in New Zealand, are now going into our winter months, so we need to be even more vigilant, so when we go outside, into the colder air, we need to make sure that we’re counteracting that, with breathing in some warm air.


So when you get into your car, turn the heater on, pop it up to the highest temperature you can cope with, and get the fan on to blow that warm air right into your face. 


If you’ve got a fan heater at home, use that, and several times a day, take the time to breathe in the warmer air. 


For those of you who don’t have a heater, you may have a hair dryer, just be careful you don’t burn yourself!


Relationship Rescue: Celebrate Your Immune System!


Last note, celebrate your immune system! Because it is working for you. One of the things I encourage my clients and I do this for myself, is that when I notice that I’ve got a sore throat, when I notice that I’m coming down with some symptoms, I celebrate it, because I’m like “YAY! My immune system is working!”. 


It shows me that my body is a little bit compromised at the moment. I need to make sure I’m sleeping well, that I’m taking in enough fluids, that I’m keeping warm enough, and that I’m slowing down. 


Because this is a symptom that our body needs some extra love, attention and support. 


So the fact your immune system is working, celebrate that, then take action to acknowledge that! This is the only body that we get, and when we start popping pills, when we start pushing through and saying “I’ve got to go to work, and I’ve got to do this and that”, then it actually compromises our health and wellbeing even further. 


And you might survive, maybe for a while you’re okay with treating yourself like this, but eventually, the toll is going to catch up with you, and it might be in some disease condition that isn’t very nice. As a reminder of the importance of staying healthy, here are the latest stats on the global spread of COVID-19


So with all that said, let’s get into our balancing session. (Time: 9:15 )


Remember, we need some social distancing right now, we need to keep eachother safe. 


Go well, 


Erena Oliver

Relationship Rescue

Integrative Relationship and Wellbeing Coach

Blenheim NZ


Ps…if you’re interested in talking further on couples guidance, why not schedule a coffee chat? Just you and me for 30 minutes 🙂