“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

Have you ever taken a selfie, but got too scared to post it because you know that you will be attacked in the comments?

Being a victim of any kind of bullying feels really bad, and you need to know two things:

You’re not alone

It’s not your fault

Dealing with bullying is never easy or pleasant, but it is a part of being human. 

The truth is, we can’t change someone else. But we change ourselves. We can change how we feel, how we think. We have that really powerful choice. By sending them compassion, believing in ourselves, and choosing not to be defined by their opinions, we can create a happy ending.

When you come face to face with a bully… What should you do?

I know, it’s hard to sympathise with the person making your life a living hell, but sometimes it can help to put yourself into your bully’s shoes, to realise, maybe this person isn’t attacking you because of who you are, but because of who they are.

Have compassion for them

It can be challenging to have compassion for your bullies, but we have to remember that “hurt people, hurt people.”

Bullies want to make you think there is something wrong with you. The truth is, there is nothing wrong with you, and they’re the ones with the problem. Deep down inside, they feel scared and unworthy, and they believe the only way to build themselves up is to tear someone else down. They often go on the offensive so that they don’t have to feel vulnerable themselves.

Don’t let their opinion define who you really are

In what parts of your life are you letting cruel naysayers limit you? You are not defined by what other people think; you are defined by your actions and what you think of yourself.

Don’t let a bully change the way you view yourself. The next time a bully says something to you that isn’t true, pause – stay calm, and move on with your day.

Remember that they are looking to get a reaction out of you and feed off your defensiveness. When you show them that their opinion means little to you, they tend to leave you alone.

Talk to your family or a close friend

Your bully wants you to feel alone. But you are only alone if you choose to be alone. 

Reach out to your trusted friend or family member you feel comfortable with and vent your innermost thoughts and feelings to them. It feels good to have a listening ear, someone who reminds us of our value. Sometimes we get so caught up in the problems that we forget about the wonderful person we are.

Bullying is an epidemic, and it needs to stop.

The experience itself may be a nightmare, but you can peacefully move on with your life, knowing you are a person of integrity and values.

You can move beyond the bullying you are experiencing, or have already experienced. You can find the silver lining and come out on top.

Are you dealing with a difficult person? You don’t have to face it alone; I am here to help. Reach out to me on erena@erenaoliver.com or book a complimentary 30-minute chat and let’s see where you’re at.