Nothing can replace watching your kids grow up and grow old with your partner. The journey itself feels like an everyday success. However, the time will come when all of them will leave and have their adventure without you. Do you know what to do with your partner together with that emptiness left in your home?

The Loud Silence That You Are Dealing With

If your last child is all grown up and about to leave home — or he or she has already moved out — you might be experiencing some mixed emotions. This mess can leave you and your partner lost in time, in your own home. Memories with your kids will haunt you, and everything you do will not be the same as when you were still dating. It is real, and professionals call it ’empty nest syndrome’. It is not a clinical diagnosis but is a phenomenon in which parents experience feelings of sadness and loss when the last child leaves home.

Facing the Emptiness

Empty nest is not just about the loud quiet. It’s about being at the centre of your own life where your kids used to be. You’ll be encouraged to embrace your freedom, go back to school, volunteer, but coming first again is not as easy as it sounds. It feels like wearing shoes on the wrong feet.

It is because the ’empty nest’ is only one of what you are dealing with; the other one is the empty ‘next’. You have a lot of free time, and facing it without knowing what to do with it will eat you alive. They manifest as ghosts in your house, who whispers to your ear and reminds you and your partner how alone you are together.

Coping with Empty Nest Syndrome

You can tame these ghosts while they are still young. The first thing that you must have is acceptance. Plan while your youngest is still there, and look for new opportunities in your personal and professional life. Keep busy or taking on new challenges at work or home can help ease the sense of loss that your child’s departure might cause.

When your youngest leave, remind yourself and your partner that these ghosts are part of your lives. Listen to them by keeping in touch with your kids, who might be secretly enduring hardships. You are also both free to use your time to devote to your marriage and personal interests.

If it’s tough to go through, it’s never wrong to seek support. Share your feelings with loved ones and friends whose children have recently left home. If things aren’t working well, you are encouraged to seek professional help.

Let’s accept the beauty of growing old with peace, seeing your kids run free, and your whole family facing the world with strength.

One With You,

Erena