There are two stages of human’s defence reactions to danger: the fight or flight, and the rest and relax. The fight or flight stage is where all the stress happens, and the rest and relax stage is our default mode of operation.

As unique human beings, it takes a certain amount of time for us to recover from stress periods, and the shorter this time is, the healthier we are. That is why when we have internal tension, the manifestation affects our body and even our immune system. It channels our actions which affect our relationships.

How Long Should a Relationship Get Deep Enough?

Let’s take a look at the process of starting relationships. The idea of dating is knowing about somebody. But when we get closer to the person, that is when we act naturally, and the intimacy or connection gets deeper. The other person will see how we react to situations.

Our “true colours” manifest when we express anger, worry, or anxiety which is normal at short periods. The person needs to take time releasing out those feelings before functioning normally again.

However, intimacy gets built through trust, respect, acceptance and appreciation. It takes time for people to connect and show their true colours. We don’t pour our hearts out to the person we just met. When it’s too soon, the other person ends up running, since they don’t want burdens. It may take about six months before true colours show up, but intimacy depends on the readiness of both people to accept the other.

What Does It Take to Get Intimate in Our Relationships?

Before we get intimate with other people, we need to learn intimacy with ourselves first. We should be prepared to become intimate with ourselves and look at deepest darkest fears, and feelings and address them to have peace. If we can’t even accept ourselves, how can we expect anybody else to do it for us in the long term and in a meaningful way?

That is why it is paramount to get to know and own ourselves, our weaknesses and strengths. When the time comes, and we need to deal with life situations, we can take a breathe and deal with it without losing ourselves, return quickly to a relaxed state and carry on with life. As a result, your overall health and relationships will become vibrant.

Let’s Dive into Your Deeper Self and Transform Your Relationships

If you have difficulty in holding a relationship, there are lots of things we can do to help you get better in handling conflicts. Otherwise, if you attract overly dependent people which isn’t what you desire, there is great hope for you. We can work everything out to help you attract people who sync with you at a deeper level.

Erena Oliver

Relationship Coach