Last week, a situation tested my stress levels when I was going to do a practical test for a class 2 license. I spent an hour and a half to get to the testing station, to discover that there is nobody there that can do it. They told me to go to another place to do it – where I need to travel and spend another day to do it.

The lost time, cost of fuel, cost of the license, and arrangements to use a vehicle for the next journey added up to get my stress levels to their limits. Yes, I was frustrated and annoyed, so I told myself to calm down – nobody is threatening me, and I need to trust the process, and everything will work out in a meaningful way.

What Does Trust Have to Do with How We Manage Our Stress?

That situation exercised my “trust muscles” to a higher level, and also proved that I am now in a place where I can get annoyed, I can get frustrated, but I can quickly come back to a calm and beneficial pace. I can move on and be open to joyful experiences, which also allows my body to go out of “fight-flight mode” and focus instead on growth and healing.

However, before getting to that place, I spent years overcoming bullying and abuse. Like somebody else who spent their lives feeling threatened and unsafe, my past self wasn’t fully aware when to have control over situations and their life. A series of activities to conquer the feelings of powerlessness and not feeling safe helps to boost confidence, to be able to trust people, and most importantly, themselves.

What Does Feeling Safe Have to Do with How We Manage Our Stress?

When we feel unsafe, abused, exploited, or pressured, our trusting ability flies out the window. Our automatic human response to danger is switching to “fight-flight” which takes time for our body to go back to a “rest-relaxed” mode.

When we are fully aware of ourselves, we can manage stress levels and calm down before making a decision. Managing stress levels involves trust, an internal work where we use our “trust muscles” at a challenging level. With reliable “trust muscles”, we can push ourselves to calm down and make sound decisions. The peace will manifest into our well being, and radiate into our relationships.

Let’s Work Your “Trust Muscles”

What do you think that you would do in a frustrating situation? Can you still keep calm around a loved one when you’ve invested yourself into it? If you happen to experience one lately, feel free to assess your actions and their outcomes.

I dedicate my services to help people enrich their capacity to connect with people, especially their loved ones. If you or if you happen to know someone who needs to train “trust muscles”, I will be happy to help. You can reach out to me here: https://erenaoliver.com/work-with-me/.

Erena Oliver
Relationship Coach