2020 isn’t too kind to almost everybody around us. It even became normal for us to witness destructive and triggering events in the news. We initially became angry, but most of us already got over it. It’s a good sign that we are getting stronger every day.
But some people still cannot accept this reality. Being comfortable before this year happened is only one of the reasons for their anger issues. If one of your friends or relatives is struggling through negativity, here is a simple guide to deal with an angry person.
Say Thank You for Being Honest
Expressing gratitude to an angry person will help them calm down. Studies show that anger makes people more honest. So it’s good to acknowledge their honesty, vulnerability, and courage to share their genuine feelings with you.
Avoid Immediately Jumping into Problem-solving
Angry people sometimes only share half of their problems. So don’t immediately provide a piece of advice. The emotion of anger distorts their mind blocking their ability to listen. So no matter how good your advice is, they will not remember it or even take it.
Ask How Can You Offer Help
Angry people already know that something is wrong. They are calling for help which they hide deep inside their behaviour. Confirming them with the support that they need will help address their problem. Ask them if they want you to respond with a solution, feedback, or opinion, or if they only require you to hold space and actively listen.
Never Try to Rescue Them from Their Experience
Keep in mind that anger passes and you don’t need to help people all the time. They already know how to solve the problem, but their situation makes them feel powerless, even if they don’t. So be aware when to take responsibility for an angry person.
Encourage the Angry Person to Share More
Anger can only show the tip of the iceberg for the person’s issues. Letting them explain the details of what’s wrong will help them calm down and even reveal that there is no problem at all.
Do Not Buy into Their Victim Stories
People’s IQ drops 10 to 15 points when they are angry. So people who tell victim stories when they look mad only try to manipulate you. Also, showing pity to a genuinely angry person typically adds fuel to the flame. It’s good to acknowledge their stress, but your opinion matters too. So you need to disagree in a helpful way when necessary.
Listen with Your Full Attention
Examining the detail of their situation will also help you assess what is the problem. Avoid pushing advice or opinions because angry people have their minds temporarily closed. They only need someone to listen to or to feel empowered in their situation.
Avoid Absorbing Their Negative Emotions
Avoid trying to relate your experiences to an angry person. They don’t want to hear “I know exactly what you’re going through” because you don’t, and it adds more fuel to the heat. Remember that your IQ drops too when you absorb their anger, that is why you cannot accomplish anything when both of you are upset.
Dealing with Anger Without Shame, Criticism, and Judgement
We can avoid judging angry people for their seemingly petty reactions. We are not aware of their inner wounds and triggers. They also experience temporary emotions like us. Hopefully, this article can help us deal better with angry people next year.