Have you ever had an argument with your partner or your family member about unsolicited efforts?

You might have shown your sentiments to them through your actions. It is because you believe that the best way to express your feelings is through efforts. It’s not surprising if some people misinterpret what you do. But would it amaze you if some people have the same love language as yours?

Love language, according to Dr Gary Chapman, is our preferred way to give or receive love. He also explained that there are five love languages, where one is acts of service. We will focus this discussion around this love language.

Is Your Love Language Acts of Service?

If your love language is acts of service, the way you show love is doing something that other people would like. Examples are doing them a favour, cooking them a meal, or something else they need, which you believe is worth the effort. You also prefer receiving love the same way, which other people find time-consuming and exhausting.

If everything mentioned suits you better, then your love language inclined more on acts of service. Here’s a quick guide to help you communicate better with people who speak this love language.

You Prefer Deeds as Better Ways to Speak Love

You already found out that this love language, acts of service, is your preferred way to receive love. Here’s how to communicate and appreciate your partner or your family.

  • Let them know. Simply tell that you prefer deeds over other ways to express love. 
  • Express kindness and patience. Your love language takes time and effort, so widen your understanding when receiving love. Expect that there are times that other people cannot provide what you need.
  • Be sure to return what you demand. From saying “thank you” to returning the favours, you can show how your love language works by providing examples.

Cherishing Their Efforts

It’s a good chance that you’re not the person who has this love language. So in case if one of your loved ones prefers giving or receiving acts of service, here’s a quick guide to help you appreciate them.

  • Show appreciation to the little things. The way they show love might not be the biggest actions in their life. It might be as simple as the amount of sugar in your coffee, the time of your favourite show, or something else that almost don’t matter at all. Be aware of the small things they care about and take notes if it’s difficult to remember.
  • Consider what they don’t enjoy doing. As there are acts that they love doing, here comes the opposite. They might let you do the things that they hate, or at least complain about them. So it’s better to show appreciation when they cover for what they know you hate doing. 
  • Allot time to prepare and do and acts of service. You or your loved one might have at least a few moments free in your calendars. Make sure to use at least one of them to alleviate each other’s tasks for the day.
  • Offer what you are good at. You might have a strong point which is the weak point of your loved one. Offering your services will help your relationships grow. An example is if you are more artistic, accept the crafty tasks. Or if you are logically inclined, ease them by acquiring the thinking tasks.

Empowering the Way You Speak Love

No matter what love language you prefer, acts of service are beneficial for healthy relationships. Sometimes other ways are better than actions, but it depends on our preferences. But communication is an integral part of every relationship. So it’s important to let them know about your preferred love language.

My take on this information is that you must be clear about how you want to love or be loved. It’s difficult to express your feeling if you experience challenges to communicate with yourself. So if you confirmed that your love language is acts of service, be sure to prioritise doing the best for yourself. Everything will pay off, and you can also provide the best for your loved ones.

What is the best thing you ever did in your relationships? Let’s talk about it! You can reach me out through a coffee chat if you are still planning to do it.