Our life experiences create in us beliefs that shape the way we think and act – as a result of my journey I have a unique perspective that gives clarity, certainty and confidence which enables transformation to be easy, simple and effective.
Traumatic experiences undermine our –
- ability to trust
- ability to love
- ability to be vulnerable
- ability to share, to be open
- they can destroy our love – our love of self.
When that love is damaged or destroyed then our relationships will never be loving, whole, harmonious, enriched or co-creative. I assist you to heal and rebuild that love, of and for self, then others.
It is like we see our experience, other people and the world around us through a set of filters that leads us to believe
- we do not matter
- that we are not supported
- we cannot be loved or are loveable
- that we must struggle, work hard, or just do not deserve to be happy.
We are wired for conflict, to run at a moment’s notice. We are constantly in protective or defence mode, ready to be attacked, blamed, shamed, judged or criticised.
We see others as the enemy, as someone to be resisted, kept out, pushed away if they get too close.
We are reactive and find it challenging to trust, not just ourselves but others and we seem to attract into our lives the very people and situations that reinforce these beliefs and the need to be the way we are.
None of these things are conducive to good relationships, let alone great ones.
These very things were set up in my consciousness from the time I was in the womb, reinforced between the ages of 3 and 5 by abuse and then for about 25 years in my marriage.
Learning the things, I now share with men and women who desire to transform their relationships, I transformed my own life, then the marriage relationship I was in to be one that I want to stay in.
I transformed my relationship with myself – from being constantly verbally and emotionally bullied, from feeling powerless, from victimisation, feeling depressed, feeling fearful, weak, uncertain and confused and I learned:
- to feel safe and secure
- to accept, respect and appreciate myself
- how to accept, appreciate and respect others
- to feel after years of numbness
- how to communicate in a way to get my needs met
- how to negotiate and appreciate the differences between us
- to empower myself
- to live with confidence and courage
- how to be a person, others wanted to be around
- to appreciate the differences between masculine and feminine and how to use this for an enriched, co-creative and radiant partnership
- how to get the best out of my man, how to empower him and inspire him to be the best he can be
- that my life and relationships can be joy-filled
- that any and all changes I made in my own thoughts, words and actions had a far-reaching powerful exceptional effect for deep satisfaction, not just for me, but for those around me too.
- that the more empowered I became the more my interactions with my man were empowering and supportive
- the more I saw him as my partner and not my enemy or just someone who did not care or get me, the closer we became
- the less I reacted, even inside (thoughts, attitudes and feelings) the less reactive he was
As I learnt just how quick, simple and easy this journey was I am really excited to share this with others – to take them on a journey that will enrich their relationship with themselves and in turn with those that matter to them.